Year: 2015

In addition to shame and self-blaming messages, I often hear clients say they need to ‘let go.”  Most frequently, it is in relation to a person…someone who has hurt them; in hopes of severing, surrendering, relinquishing involvement. While it may sound simple enough, letting go is very hard.  It entails exploring one’s attachment to the … Read more

Living in such a rushed life with pressures to do and feel instantly, taking time to sit with stillness can calm the anxious mind and heart.  Just stopping to be, to allow one’s inner rhythm to breathe again is essential for mental health and well-being.  Pausing and allowing yourself to appreciate the moment with stillness … Read more

I recently read an article that combined the words ‘mindfulness’ and ‘kindness,’  It suggested the obvious, that to be kind to others required mindfulness of intention and words.  Before long, mindfulness will make into the dictionary and become an ordinary everyday word.  For now, though, the freshness of the word brings a smile and a … Read more

In my work with clients I continually notice how difficult it is for many who have had traumatic childhoods to expect kindness in their lives.  Having been treated poorly, without respect, in the past, it’s not surprising that many chooseagain unloving partners. The “feeling bad” is a normative experience.  To make change to one’s internal … Read more

Entering psychotherapy, exploring oneself and one’s relationship to self and others is a challenging process. In the early stages of “treatment” clients express the depths of internalized superego negative messages which translates into beating oneself up coupled with self blame, shame and lack of forgiveness. These are uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to sit with, get … Read more

Years ago I read a small precious book by Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk, called Present Moment, Wonderful Moment.   It is a series of daily reminders about living more fully in each moment. One in particular stays with me asI practice it each morning.  It has to do with holding our awareness as we … Read more

I’ve noticed myself being very careful walking the last few days as snow and ice have descended upon Chapel Hill. I wish I was this mindful every day, walking to my car, driving. Mindful walking, or walking as if you have already arrived, is a gift. How often do you pause and notice the pavement … Read more

People wonder today whether our lives are easier with cell phones, computers, Skype and all the technology. Yes, perhaps, easier in that we don’t have to go down to a river source and wash our clothes on some rocks and we can let Uncle Al know if his brother is ill within seconds rather than … Read more

As the new year unfolds, many of us find ourselves in the fast lane on cruise.  It’s a challenge to downshift and take the time for a new speed, a new rhythm, that allows for more space in one’s thoughts and day. What makes taking time to PAUSE so hard?  Is it the fear of bad … Read more

With all our advanced and ultra fast technology, we are being encouraged, if not programmed to get ahead of ourselves.  Some people I know with years of work before retirement are already thinking and planning for 5, 10 years ahead.  Worrying worrying worrying about a future one can’t predict or totally control. And then…the moment … Read more