To sit with…the anxious moments of life…with uncertainty and not knowing is hard.  We think if we know what’s going to happen…which is I’m possible; or in some control what is going to happen…our lives will be easier. So, we spend time keeping ourselves busy with whatever so we don’t have to feel some of … Read more

My primary care physician said, “If we don’t take care of our bodies, where will we live?”  Learning how to honor our bodies by taking proper care of nutrition, exercise and rest needs is big aspect of healing in psychotherapy. Sometimesour bodies house so much past trauma, it is difficult to access and the pain of … Read more

Forgiveness is often not easy to do with self or others.  There are often deep wounds of betrayal and hurt that keep one stuck and in a victim role.  If one was raised with critical judgmental parents, for example, with strictness and lots of rules, forgiveness of self and others may seem like a foreign … Read more

The myriad effects of trauma can effect one’s life in many ways.  The most common aspect named as helplessness.  This is a feeling we will do almost anything to get away from; whether it is avoiding others. blaming others, medicating ourselves with busyness or substance, immobolization, chronic indecision or other unhealthy behaviors.  Some peoplewill fight … Read more

Imagine the beauty, quiet and stillness after a snow storm.  Everything stops; mother nature says ‘listen.’  And what are we listening for?  We are listening for the inner quiet beyond all thoughts, below the busyness of our minds and the constant chatter within.  Stillness, both revered and feared is something to work towards because it … Read more

As the new year begins, many clients are eager to make changes to relieve their suffering and bring more joy in their lives.  There is an eagerness and sometimes an impatience for things to go faster. One client sadly shamed herself for not being able to do this work on her own and felt weak. … Read more

In addition to shame and self-blaming messages, I often hear clients say they need to ‘let go.”  Most frequently, it is in relation to a person…someone who has hurt them; in hopes of severing, surrendering, relinquishing involvement. While it may sound simple enough, letting go is very hard.  It entails exploring one’s attachment to the … Read more

Living in such a rushed life with pressures to do and feel instantly, taking time to sit with stillness can calm the anxious mind and heart.  Just stopping to be, to allow one’s inner rhythm to breathe again is essential for mental health and well-being.  Pausing and allowing yourself to appreciate the moment with stillness … Read more

I recently read an article that combined the words ‘mindfulness’ and ‘kindness,’  It suggested the obvious, that to be kind to others required mindfulness of intention and words.  Before long, mindfulness will make into the dictionary and become an ordinary everyday word.  For now, though, the freshness of the word brings a smile and a … Read more

In my work with clients I continually notice how difficult it is for many who have had traumatic childhoods to expect kindness in their lives.  Having been treated poorly, without respect, in the past, it’s not surprising that many chooseagain unloving partners. The “feeling bad” is a normative experience.  To make change to one’s internal … Read more